I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
