She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
