I think I died a long time ago.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
