My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
