He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
