it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
