I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize