i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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