We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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