The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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