i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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