maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
