Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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