I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
