Your dad touched me again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
did i just pee glitter
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
