Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
