dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
