Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
