her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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