I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This toilet bowl is my home.
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