Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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