Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
