They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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