Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
