I want to stick my p in your. b.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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