my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
