I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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