i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The air taste purple.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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