It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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