I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
