im holly from the hills drunk
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
