Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
