he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
