Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
