Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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