I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize