She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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