I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
