this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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