butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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