And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize