dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
