She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize