Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
