Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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