sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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