Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
