so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
