Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
