During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
