But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize