12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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