yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
