We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
