glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
