Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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